In typical journalistic alliteration, these three D’s in a newspaper headline a few years ago caught my attention. The article was about elections and this headline described the current mood of voters. The only thing which seemed to unify people was a sense of total confusion. However, my mind flicked in an instant to another context where I think the same headline rings true. Could it apply to how, as blokes, we sometimes feel? What I mean is this:
Disconnected
I’ve often felt a sense of disconnection. Sometimes it may be a relationship which has become disconnected, whereas at other times it’s been in the work context. Sometimes it’s a disconnection from friends or those we feel a strong bond with. Sometimes it’s more of a spiritual disconnection.
To be disconnected is to be detached, muddled, separated, broken, or wandering. Disconnection puts you in a vulnerable position; you become isolated with no back up in a crisis, no one close at hand to refer to. But, like the pilot in the film ‘Behind enemy Lines’, such times also hold the potential for strengthening our character and remembering who we are and where we are coming from. Such times can develop resilience and confidence in what our mission is.
Deceived
We regularly hear about scams where someone has been cheated. We are all now familiar with the fake news which runs alongside the real news. How do we tell truth from falsehood? How do we know who is telling the truth? We all see things through filters of our culture and upbringing, and perhaps what others impose upon us. We can be deceived into thinking that a particular course of action is a good idea when in reality it’s a road to nowhere.
I listened to a radio programme recently which contained an interview with a former English solicitor who had been jailed for massive fraud some years ago. He was given a twelve year sentence and now, six years later he was freed. He was clearly emotional when asked about the impact his crime had had on himself, on other people around him, and especially his close family and his work colleagues. He had deceived everyone and he didn’t try to make excuses.
Listening to that interview were the senior partner of the firm he worked for and his wife. Because of the enormous sums involved, the senior partner ended up having to tell seventy employees that the firm had to close. He had to borrow money to pay off some debts and although only a couple of years away from his intended retirement date, had to keep working until he was 75, living a way more frugal life that he was expecting. Whilst they appreciated hearing an apology from their former colleague, the deception of one man had blighted the lives of many with devastating consequences.
It’s so easy to persuade ourselves that we are right and others wrong, or that there’s nothing wrong with massaging the truth. Sometimes we get so lost and hurt that we can’t face the truth about ourselves, and we live in a kind of virtual reality. We create a new story about ourselves that makes us look better than we really are.
Dismayed
Dismayed is perhaps a fairly old-fashioned word but carries the meaning of disappointment leading to giving up. I can relate to that. It’s more than just a mild disappointment, which we can shake off. A few years ago, after a sustained barrage of disappointments, the phrase ‘Don’t Lose Heart’, in one of John Eldredge’s books – ‘Wild at Heart’, stuck in my mind and got under my skin. I’m sure others will have experienced similar occasions in life. It’s easy to lose heart and give up on a long held ambition; on a relationship; on meeting with others; on faith, hope and love.
Sometimes, in spite of being disconnected, deceived or dismayed, and probably other ‘D’s we could add, we just have to keep going and not give up, and keep believing we have a hope and a future.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
James 1:26-27 (The Message)
Anyone who sets himself up as “religious” by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world.
2 Corinthians 4:16 (NIV)
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
Image Credit: Emma Craig via Flickr
