So here at CVM we have been long-time supporters of encouraging men into men’s groups, and I thought that now would be a great time to just write a few blogs about it: why we are so focussed on it and how you and your mates can benefit from them. So, without further ado – let’s go.
I heard you
I picked up my daughter and her mate the other day, and as we drove along, I observed an incredible conversation taking place.
It wasn’t what was being said, to be honest I zoned out from that almost instantly, but it was the way the conversation was going. My daughter was talking to her mate, but as my daughter slowed to end her point or sentence her mate jumped straight in with her sentence ready. I soon realised that her mate wasn’t actually listening; she was just thinking about what she wanted to say next while my daughter spoke to her.
Now, I am not favouring my daughter here, which would of course be completely normal – I have seen my daughter do it to me. Point is, we all want someone to listen to us.
When I went to Bible college years ago, we did an exercise called ‘active listening’. We had to sit for five minutes, face to face with the person we had been assigned and actively listen. Not speak back, share our own ideas or connect verbally with their story – I just had to listen. It wasn’t easy and after five minutes that felt like a lifetime it was my turn.
I was hesitant to start with but in no time at all I was away! It was a funny thing to do, but it was really revealing how much we can be ‘listening’ to people, but in reality, we are also preparing our own reply, take, view, opinion, say, or whatever.
One of the things that impacted me about my men’s group is that we do story. After the fire is lit, we will give space for guys to speak. Often stuff is going off in someone’s life and we need to hear it, they need to be heard, so we listen.
We may ask questions, refine details and seek clarity but it’s active listening and acknowledging another man’s story, journey, pleasure or pain.
Let me ask you, where else does this happen? When did you last feel like someone really heard you? Not just literally ‘your voice was heard’ but you behind the voice, when did you feel that recently?
Now CVM is all about equipping men to share the gospel, to reach 1 million men with the truth of Jesus, I think this is a vital part of the DNA of why we form men’s groups.
You need to be heard, you need to know your story, that your energy and fight is seen, valued and heard. From that place of acceptance, we build in and set a framework for Jesus to give us voice, to validate us and remind us we are His and He is ours.
That’s where serious gospel work is grounded, I think, equipping us to be seriously on message and living what we preach, keeping our feet on the narrow paths.
That’s one reason why at CVM we really want to encourage guys to be in a men’s group.
If you want to know more about setting up a men’s group, some tools and ideas to kick things off then you can get in touch with us here at CVM.
You can partner a men’s group with us and get plugged into the movement of CVM to introduce 1 million men to Jesus.
