One of the things that I love most about hanging out with men is that we can generally sniff out a fake a mile off. We have all had that mate who is full of it, the minute he opens his mouth we can instantly tell that he is trying to big himself up and a lot of what he is saying must be taken with a pinch of salt.
Maybe we are that bloke, maybe we want the boys to think we are better than we are, and maybe we come out with one or two embellishments or mistruths.
Similarly, there can be a temptation to cheat in other parts of our lives, whether that be in our work/professional lives or in our personal lives.
Whether it be that air of bravado, making ourselves out to be something we are not, or actively cheating in our professional or personal lives, the way we live has generally become the product of a million and one small decisions made each day. And it is almost certainly been over a long period of time.
Over the years I have found that living life in the company of men, Godly men has made all the difference. In fact, I was once completely called out by a good friend of mine for being dishonest to the men in a group I was once part of. What I was saying and how I was living did not match up and this guy, a true mate, eyeballed me and told me to get my head and heart straight.
We are currently living in a world where truth, integrity and honesty are under constant attack. We are living in a world where, I believe, it is impossible to keep self-motivating ourselves to do the right thing. For this, we need a band of brothers.
In previous blogs we have talked about how organising a men’s group can and should be uncomplicated. There really is nothing better than 5-10 men sat round a firepit, eating good food, toasting some marshmallows (we all have a soft centre, don’t we?) and talking about life. This is an environment where it is hard to hide, where we can intentionally choose not to hide.
Not long after the second big national COVID lockdown, the CVM Cymru team came together for an overnight camping trip at Tez Gale’s gaff (Go Wild Adventures, Carmarthenshire). Like everyone else, we had not been together for such a long time. All our connections had been over zoom for so long, but now we had the opportunity to get face-to-face with each other as a team. We started off with euphoria, we laughed a lot and had banter. But it really did not take long for us to start talking about real stuff, raw stuff and together we prayed for each other, for our families and for the ones we hold dear. Ever since that 24-hour team time, I have treasured Psalm 139 and use it as a tool in my daily walk with Jesus:
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”
This is what living life in company of men does. It helps us see things more clearly. It reveals the stuff that is not quite stacking up in our lives. And it requires us to start living authentically. We get to leave all that cheating behind us, and we get to become men behaving Godly.
Here’s my #TopTip for this week, start assembling a group of guys to build a band of brothers. It really can be 2 or 3 men, but slightly bigger is better if possible. Become accountable to one another and don’t be afraid to call out what needs calling out in each other. I have learned over the years that it is as bad to take offence from others as it is to offend each other, so hold each other’s hearts with care. But know this: God takes real notice of men who live authentically Godly lives, and the world takes notice too!
