Episode 2
Read 1 Samuel Ch. 17 v 1-27.
Now the Phillistines gathered their forces for war
And assembled at Socoh in the land a’ Judah.
They all lined up at the top of the heights,
Across the valley from the Israelites.
Down from the Phils came the number one killer.
Goliath of Gath, their National Gorilla.
In front of this dude any guy looked small
‘Cause I tell you, man—he was nine feet tall!
All of his life, he’d done the rounds
And the tip of his spear, it weighed fifteen pounds!
Big Gol—Ooooooo—Big Bad Gol!
He was more ‘n a match for any man alive.
Why—his armour weighed in at one-twenty five!
There was no dude like him—ahead of his field.
(He had his own little guy that just carried his shield)
Big Gol—Ooooooo—Big Bad Gol
Goliath was a hundred– percent aggression.
To the Israelites, he was a deeeep depression.
He shouts up the hill to the whole a’ Saul’s army.
‘Look at you standin’ there, dis gotta be barmy.’
‘If we don’t play it cool there’ll be a helluva fight.
Every Phillistine against every– Israelite.
No, I’m the man! An’ if you ain’t too humble,
Pick your best punter for a one-to-one rumble!’
He said. ‘Choose me a man, have ‘im come down to me.
If he wins—we’ll be slaves an’ you’se all be free.
Yeah! Choose me a man! Have ‘im come down to me.
If he wins, we’ll be slaves an’ you’s all be free.’
He thought ‘it’s only gonna happen when hell freezes over
‘Cause I’ll kick some ass, an’ we’ll be in clover!’
Said ‘Choose me a man!’ Every day for six weeks
He said ‘Choose me a man, you sad bunch a’ geeks!’
Gol’s twelve hourly yell was a demoralisin’ noise.
In the midst of it all was old Jesse’s boys.
The oldest three follered Saul to the war,
Eliab, Aminadab and a third, Shammah.
Gol’s forty day stint of bein’ so rude,
Caused logistical problems with supplies a’ the food.
In short the Israelites couldn’t pick no winner,
In addition to which, they was runnin’ oughta dinner.
Jesse said to Dave, his youngest born.
‘Take ‘em ten large sliced and a pile a’popcorn.’
(His thinkin’ seemed to be—‘while the giant’s irate,
The boys load up on the carbohydrate.’)
Dave’s up at dawn, he gets to the front line.
He meets with the army but things ain’t fine.
Dave says to the guys, ‘what you do each day?’
‘We get up, shout the war cry, then all run away.’
‘You get up, shout the war cry, then all run away?’
‘Yeah, Gol’s a real problem, there’s no denyin.’
We’re lookin’ for a dude to liquefy ‘im.’
Dave says, ‘what if I remove this bod,
Who’s defyin’ the army of the living God?’
They said, ‘If you face him without apprehension
You git the king’s daughter and an early pension.
The one who delivers the forty whacks
Gits lifelong exemption from his income tax’.
The word was out. ‘There’s a boy ‘round here,
Ain’t fazed by the giant—he may volunteer!’
