The first part of this is going to be a bit obvious for a lot of people. Put quite simply people with autism deal very much in truth and can on occasion hang onto facts like a dog with a bone. On occasion we don’t so much speak the truth in love, but in a way that leaves people shell-shocked.
For instance before I realised that things sounded better in my head and should remain there unspoken things like this used to happen:
Teacher: King Herod was a very nasty man.
Me (age 5): He was so horrible I would have piddled all over him miss!
I spent the rest of the lesson standing in the corner.
So as you can imagine the whole thing about ‘taming the tongue’ in James 3 is especially difficult for autistics. That is not to say I should use this as an excuse for just blurting out the first thing that comes into my head as I see it as a fact. It was only after more than my fair share of arguments, awkward silences and the benefits of a very forgiving and loving wife that I now pause and think what would be the best thing to say in any given situation. That is one of the reasons that autistics tend to rehearse conversations in their heads (yes, this is one of the things that is true). That is not to say I don’t have occasional lapses when I say the first thing that enters my head (no matter how true it might be). This happens more often when I am tired and in need of a rest.
This can be seen as being very dogmatic about something – oh the joys of many doctrinal bust- ups that I used to have as a young Christian! I honestly shudder when I look back on how bad I used to be in this area as there was not a great deal of love shown by me and I regret that. I hope that I have learnt something on the back of that.
Now before I start a list of every time I opened my mouth to change which foot I had in it, let’s move on to concentration. This is something that comes very easy to me and many autistics (but I certainly don’t like having it broken), whether it is stacking shelves, model-making, writing or drawing I could so easily become wholly immersed in the task in hand. This proved to be very useful when I was a train driver as one of the key requirements of the job was being able to perform repetitive tasks and follow set procedures. This is something I have always found quite easy to don and it also allows me to be able to work through tasks quite quickly once I have learned the procedure. I believe that it is a gift from God that just happens to come under the banner of autism.
As I continue on this ‘autism journey’ I am beginning to see more and more that what I wrote in Part 3 about dwelling on the good things that autism brings (Philippians 4v8), is far more important than focussing on the negative aspects.
I just want God to use my autism/Asperger’s for His glory above all else.
