Why Men's Ministry?
So what this all about then? Why do we need men’s ministry and what’s the point of it all? Isn't it better to do this all together, men, women and kids all together?
Well, what we have seen here at CVM over many years of doing this stuff is that for many men under the age of 45, church is most likely to be a somewhat foreign environment. In fact, today on average men are outnumbered by women in UK churches by 2:1. (If you need loads of up to date stats check out the 7 Reasons Your Church Needs More Men book we have worked on)
We have seen that Christian men can quickly feel disconnected from church and non-Christian men will stand outside the radar of any church building and perhaps just pop in at Christmas or for the odd funeral here and there.
What we have also seen, and conducted some interesting research into, is that this situation has worsened over the last thirty years.
Whilst a variety of church groups, family pastors and ‘back to church Sunday’ ideas are great and can work, we are still basically in the same place. During COVID and when we watched the sudden interest in 'online church' fade, the UK church is now facing the even greater challenge of evangelism to men and how to move evangelically forward reaching men who haven't just left church, but are not even looking to Jesus at all.
What you can see in the UK church is that, in general, church has been geared around youth and women and this needs to change to provide specifically men-focused events if we want different results to the ones we are getting now.
A 'male-focused' event can often be met with resistance as it can conjure up ideas that are not being intended, of 'men on a jolly.' We have found that when men regularly encounter this event/space or opportunity it is a perfect platform to introduce Jesus and not only see the guy's life changed but often, his partner and children too.
At CVM, through the experience of seeing hundreds of men come to faith and journey with Jesus, we have seen that men respond to the Gospel differently from women so need a different approach.
Church culture can also be quite feminine and therefore difficult for many men to get to grips with. Think of church décor. Lots of children’s pictures, flowers and banners. Then there is the worship. Songs are often about feelings and subjective. Teaching is often generic and talks about concepts rather than every day practicalities. Volunteer jobs in the church can also tend towards the more feminine aspects of character; loving, sharing, nurture, compassion. Men seek adventure and challenge and whilst love and compassion are important traits for men, the wild and adventurous aspects of their personalities can be completely starved in church. So we need to create an environment that makes the Christian faith accessible to the average UK man and church a place worth hauling themselves out of bed for.
A man wrestling with a porn addiction or issues in his marriage or work is unlikely to express that level of depth and vulnerability in a mixed family meeting or event. If that same man is plugged into genuine friendships with a core group of men, asking the right questions with honesty and focus on the gospel, it's a different story all together.
When women and children are not present the group dynamics radically changes and men are often more open about spiritual matters. You can see that if the environment is right, men thrive on the company of other men – watching football, in the pub, or motorsport stuff, often its these moments and events that provide the space for men to talk honestly, shoulder to shoulder rather than in a forced event that they have little to no interest in being at, let alone sharing from the heart with a bunch of people they really don't care deeply about.
We have also seen that men don’t make friends as easily as women – they talk of work success, cars and surface detail, not of under-the-skin issues which they are actually desperate to bring to the surface.
Look at church on Sunday for a moment, the relevance of church to men seems small as male issues are often not being addressed; workplace, personal failure, vulnerability, finance, sexuality, this stuff matters to men but they are not hearing it on the agenda.
It is important to know that whilst we advocate men’s ministry it is different to a men’s group that meet once a month for a dodgy breakfast somewhere. Most men have probably had enough of yet another 'men's breakfast' that you can pop in and out of without ever exposing your heart and a place that challenges your life to be more.
We have a focus, it's a gospel one.
Lots of men's groups and ministry will focus around YOU knowing Jesus better. YOU becoming the better version of you and thriving at home and in you professional life, that's all great and important - but it is missing the vital ingredient of GO!
Mobilising men to be passionate about the gospel is crucial if you want to see and build a thriving men's ministry. Be about Jesus and making him known. The questions around YOU and how to grow, and know Jesus better, to be the best man, father, boss or son you can be will flourish from a reactor core that is beating for the gospel, for rescue, for the lives of your mates to be touched by Jesus.
A long-term, evangelistic strategy to win men to Jesus works, for them and you to know Jesus better.
